Let It Be

We can learn a lot from the Beatles; specifically Paul McCartney's mother who used to whisper those wonderful words of wisdom, "Let it be." Those lyrics always seem to run into my head whenever I'm around a bunch of parents who are supervising their children doing an art and craft. Lachlan is in a few play sessions throughout the week and there is always a craft time. Now 'craft' to me is an activity that one sets out to do with an anticipated outcome; such as making a wind chime or a sock puppet. Craft time at play group consists of an example of something for the children to make with the same materials provided so they may replicate it. That is craft. We don't do many craft projects at home. We are more of an expressive arts family so I leave out all sorts of materials (known as the hundred languages of children) for Lachlan to decide what he'd like to create or invent. He enjoys both art and craft so it is nice for him to have the opportunity to do both.

I always get itchy eyes however when I watch these craft experiences at play groups and even some schools I visit. There are always a handful of parents who just can not 'let it be.' For whatever reason they take over the child's craft or direct them as to exactly where they should place something. I feel sorry for the children of parents with this type of personality because they miss out on an opportunity to practice important developmental skills and also to be creative. Can't craft after all have a creative element? Why can't a child decide what colour to paint the wind chime or what creature he wants to make his sock puppet. Who cares if the chime doesn't sound lovely to us if it sounds lovely to the child? So what if the eyes of a sock puppet are where the ears should be if the child can say in the end, "I made this myself!"

A classic example is one I witness every week of a parent taking over her child's art activity. Every week the parent asks the child if she wants to do a craft and the preschooler skips over eager to participate. It begins well; the child selects her materials and begins pasting them to the paper. Soon she is interrupted with "don't paste them all around the same spot!" The child doesn't skip a beat though and continues to paste them where she wants them to go. Again the mother chimes in, "Spread them out." (The chorus of 'Let It Be' begins to play in my head...)This time the mom moves the already pasted items to another location on the paper. The child so used to this just sits back and now looks around the room at what else she can play. (how I really want to whisper those words of wisdom...)The mother oblivious of the child's lack of interest now continues working on the art project and finishes the entire thing and also making corrections to her daughter's previous pastings. Quite proud of herself the mother says to her child, "Now look there. You did a beautiful job on this picture!"....Now I'm telling MYSELF to 'Let it Be!' because I want to say, "Are you crazy? Hello? YOU did a beautiful job, not your daughter. Well, she was doing a beautiful job until you decided to become the craft Nazi and take over her creation!!" Of course being the good sport that I am and afraid that this reaction might be frowned upon at play group, I bite my tongue and focus on Lachlan's creation. His of course looked nothing like the example. There were pieces here, there and everywhere. It was beautiful to him and that is all that mattered. He had a big smile on his face when he was finished which tells me he was quite proud of his work.

I understand that when children reach primary school that they may be asked to replicate something and may be graded according to how well they completed the task. Generally in this case, the child is asked to make something that is within their developmental capacity. The teacher wouldn't ask them to make a bird house if he didn't feel the child could use a glue bottle and read directions on a paper. The objective of many of these assignments are just that; seeing if the child can follow simple part directions. Young children however are still trying to fit all the pieces together of how things work and how they will appear if they do this or that. They are working on holding scissors and crayons, squeezing glue bottles, drawing squiggles which will become lines or circles over time. They need the freedom to just 'be' to get the feel of how to make things work for themselves. It takes a lot of experimentation and trial and error for them to do this. This is in fact how children become good problem-solvers; by testing the waters out for themselves and figuring out what works and what doesn't. If parent step in before a child waves the white flag, we are taking away important learning opportunities and also sending the message of  'you can't do this on your own. you need me.' Let's let the children figure out when they need help. Most of the time they will ask for it and if you have a shy child or one who gets frustrated easily, simply ask them if they would like help before you jump in.

Well that's all from my little soap box this evening. A little food for thought. Hopefully something will resonate within some parent that is reading this. If you have been a craft Nazi, it is okay. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent, it just mean that perhaps you can examine your tactics and try to loosen up a bit. Try letting your child be in control for a change. You might even have time to have a cup of tea during this time. Imagine that? Until next time...Happy Parenting!